诉说每一段思念

Was just passed by a funeral service nearby my house. It was an old people I think in the house. It made me to recall back the moment I celebrate my CNY with both of my grandma from father and mother side. and I realized, for the past two years, I dun celebrate it with enjoyable.

Year 2009, one of my grandma was admitted during the reunion dinner, 3 days after, she came out. While we have our combined dinner again on the 7th day of the CNY, kakak in the house called and told us that grandma was very suffered. We all stopped eating and rush back. My cousin brother straightly reverse his car and send my grandma to hospital immediately. We waited outside emergency room until settled down. My CNY is like living in a fear and not enjoyable at all.

By the way, she passed away in the 1st day of Raya in the year ='( I was so sad for her going. As I will lose a grandma forever. When the day she passed away, my another grandma was admitted. We tot it was just small case for her to admitted. But after we settled down the funeral, she is already in ICU. Doctor suggested us to have an earlier preparation. I was not even say the last words to her ='( this is the most regret in my life. As it was actually break for me, I went there everyday to visit her with my parents. Unfortunately, she also passed away after my another grandma passed away for 10 days. I had two funeral sections in just a fortnight. I couldn't accepted it at all. I lose both of my grandma in just that fortnight??

Therefore, we dun celebrate CNY last year. We sat in my auntie's house during the whole CNY and prepared for my exam. As scare off people very pantang. My CNY is depress and sorrow. This year, we can celebrate it more enjoyable I think. Hoped so!!

The most important thing during the CNY is not the decoration, not the ang pow, not the food. For me, the most important is the REUNION between human and human. I always tell my students, always loved your grandpa and grandma, if not, everything will be late....

Therefore, grab ur chance and wish them.!!!!

McD Breakfast

fulfill the EXPECTED TASK this morning. having breakfast in McD =P loved!!!!!!

< Egg Muffin Set >

Hot tea!

It's burger >>

My Sunday (30 Jan)

I have my exam in Sunday, which is the first paper I sat for in the year 2011. Thanks God, it's smooth and I managed to answer all questions in full. Hope can get A for this subject =]

After exam, we have our Youth Committee meeting in church. And we proceed on to our MTV shooting. Unfortunately, it failed in the end. huh. Esther must be very sad of that I think. But Esther, thanks for making the efforts by arrange all things. This was just an accident. This time can't then next time can be better, yeah!

hehe, everyone is request to wear something nice for that shooting. I have mine which I put in the cupboard for long time. I reject to wear new one as wanted to remain them for my CNY. hehe. Long time dun have the CNY feel jor. this year shall have the most compared to the last two years. yeah. here are some photos I have!

me and "bo lok"

Youth Fellowship (29 Jan)

Yesterday (29 January), I am going youth service like usual. And one of our Zone leaders, John Mah is sharing on the topic of A DIFFERENT NEW YEAR. He had gave all people there a poker card and ask all the same number sit in one group. and, we are FOUR!!

we are FOUR!

then, we used the thin cards to make something like below!

we make this together!

See how Kelly do?

When we build this, we FAILED times and times until the time limited, we have nothing on the base.!
And it remind me, base is very important! If we don't have base, we will surely lose all! Therefore, this year, I need to really consider the base deeply! =)

be a LONG-SIGHTED person

Today  I don't feel like talk to some people. Felt that they are very short-sighted. And they are just bringing mood that OK LOL, anything LOL. I dun like this type people indeed. Doing thing so "cin cai"..

Most of us, are being short-sighted because of the environment~ Most of us are! I am in that time too. That's the reason I said I blind before! But when age in growing, I realize many thing, other than the TRUTH tell u that u need to put faith in God, and it is a NEED to have a long term mindset. Not narrow, but the WIDE one.!

Well, in the meeting today, we are discussing lot on the youths distribution. My name had been taken out from the upper row and went to lower row. I am still struggling on what to choose indeed. And Zoe, Wendy, Roseline take me up and my name is then put under them. Roseline is shouting :"yeah, accounting group". I got stunned awhile. At that moment, I quiet down for few minutes before I go on with the discussion. I really quiet down. I realized, my heart is not there. =) huh..

Only after that I told Simon and he said further arrangement will proceed! Well, I hoped I still can be overcome the next coming too!!

读书新体验

身体再累，我们也要读书；工作再忙，我们也要谈书；收入再少，我们也要买书；住家再小，我们也要藏书；交情再浅，我们也要送书。

最庸俗的人，是不读书的人；最吝啬的人，是不买书的人；最可怜的人，是与书无缘的人！

高希均教授


每一天发生在你周遭的重大事故，都可能影响你的生活，都可能決定你的未來。


有的事物，你可以不闻不问，但有的事物，你不能不理不知。
如果你总是后知后觉，如果你总是缺乏敏感和警惕，你一定将为自己对世界的无知，付出昂貴的代价。


虽然新知识、新事物和新资讯，每天都永不中断地向你蜂湧而來，但我们必须牢记，每天工作再累再忙碌，我们都要保持阅读和学习的热情。


为了因应今天许多深不可测的挑战和危机，我们不得有任何的松懈，我们也不能心存侥幸和观望。我們更必须全力戒备和防范。挑战当头，我们一定要改变思維和生活方式；危机当前，我们一定要上下一心，团结合作！

Song of my life

Fall In This Place - Planetshakers (Legendado, Português).

[Verse1]

Take me to the place lord

Where there's nothing else but me and you

Longing for your presence

I know that you are calling me to you

[Pre chorus]

Here i stand

And long for your embrace

Nothing else

Could ever take your place

[Chorus]

Come holy spirit

Fall in this place

I need more and more of you

Fill me again with the power of your spirit

Lord i'm crying out for

More and more of you

[Bridge]

Lord i'm crying out for

More and more of you (oh)

a special song flowing in me just now. We need the power of the Holy Spirit to be filled in us everyday. There is nothing in between me and God, it's just solely me and Him alone, where I got my source of strength of. In the circumstances in my life, Lord I know, I need u deeply. Thanks Lord, for the great calling u placed in me, I skat it is too big for me, I can't sustain with it if u leave me. Therefore, I knew, It's an URGE inside me to be longing in your presence for the moment! I CRIED OUT TO YOU!

Many happenings are happened around u. But I clearly that's a CERTAIN thing called CHOICE to be living in You. Nothing can take the places of You from me.

Lord, there is still many thing I wish to talk to You. But sometimes, I felt something for real, and I can't see what is the next going. But, I still, wanna to follow You. Never regret! Cause for the entire life, I know u would be my anything, above all else treasure in the world can give. I will have my beloved family, husband, children in the coming time, but all these, can't ever take the place of You in my life. You are my FIRST! FIRST in my entire life. Demons, dun rob my God from my lives. He is the VICTOTY of mine over you!

Yea, Lord. You are my Victory! Yesterday, today the SAME! Thus, I choose to live my everyday for You!
I LOVE YOU!
I LOVE YOU!
I LOVE YOu!
for You loved me first!>>>>

CNY ceremony in SJK C Chee Wen

We have a great ceremony thre where students sang chinese new year songs together and they get one nmadarin orange each. It symbolize the new  year is actually very near! I was so grateful and so longing  for the day to come! Yea. CNY.

People play riddles on Tanglung festival. But my school play riddles on CNY. haha. Today, we have a small ceremony in the hall in the hall with all the students. And here are some questions:

1）航空公司开张------猜一成语
2）臭豆腐-------猜一港台女艺人
3）傻瓜-------猜一字
4）珍珠白小姐，身穿绿衣裳，穿衣去洗澡，脱衣上牙床------猜一食物
5）身穿白色衣，爱走黑泥地，为了教孩子，骨碎都愿意-----猜一用具

haha. so funny! well, we enjoyed each moment spend. While I take the first move to wish them HAPPY CNY, I was so grateful for the response from them too. Like: "teacher, we also wish u everyday pretty"! So cute. haha! Here are some pictures I managed to follow!

mandarin oranges that given to all teachers!

this monitor is helping teacher distribute the orange

everyone got oranges. yea!

Holiday start lu.

After work for 20 days in the month of January, it's time to break for Chinese New Year. hehe. Most of us, are very expecting for this day to come. Yea.

today, each teacher get 1 box of Mandarin orange in L size. Students also have theirs for ONE. Well, everyone is happy with that. Seeing the mandarin orange give away. I started to feel that the New Year is actually very near.

I was in the class 3I for the last period. When the bell rang, I walk out from the class, I like the sunshine so much on today. Finally, we can take a break. Well, I dun think it's fully break, as still got a lot of houseworks are awaiting. I dunno need to start from where, but just see how la

Yea, HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR, everyone!

It's complicated

what making my heart so complicated for now?

And I am totally annoyed in my heart. not knowing the reason of WHY, just know that I am bu shuang something!

But again the verse of God remind, 你要保守你心，胜过保守一切，一切的果效都由心发出！

Haiz, no choice but to obey His words. So, I need to really pray hard now for these happening! so that I have can get the best solutions over all.! Lord, help me!

what happened to you?

I was so amazed on the happenings on u. U are started to close yourself. What had happened to u these few days??

Is that stresses around u make u stop expressing? or u just simply don't want talk to keep yourself in silent?

Anyway, I do hoped u can get well from your emotion soon and sooner and don't easily down by circumstances.
U can de. I am here to support u from any side! I am here.

Pre for CNY

present received from a students from 3W in Chee Wen.

xin nian lai lo.
Chinese new year is here soon. My student was present me a pack of thing as above this morning. When she came out, I was actually scolding on students that not competing my homework. Then she told me, "teacher, this give you". I immediately response to her "why give me?". funny answer I got back from her "Don't know, my mom asked to give". wahaha, funny response.

Ang pow from two ah jie!

The upper picture is the most earliest ang pow I gotten for this year. They are from my two classmates last Sunday. hehe. They are so funny to give us such early.

Well, the CNY is near again. It symbolize I am getting older edi. But I am very grateful for the achievement I am having now in career and also study. Although still got space to improve in some part of my life, but I so hoped I can find the best of my life soon.

Everyone has their CNY wish. Me too. Here is my wishlist for CNY.
 * Get a new car.
* Find my dream guy.
* Got the most ang pau in entire life.
* Completed my Degree with FIRST CLASS.
* Get into teachers' training by this year end.
* Have my initial payment for a higher study.

oh yea. Everyone will wish something good in CNY to each other. Well, I hoped, all these above will come true then! God bless, Jenny!

CHOICE

I had a choice recently, to go which cell group after the restructure! I had resigned as Junior Youth leaders a few  weeks ago. Now I had come to the choice of making decision on cell group I intend to go.

They had giving me some choices, but I still struggling.
There are Steven, Yik Foong, Zoe's cell group I was considering. Well, I need to seriously think off and make the best decision then! Add oil, Jenny!

Refuge

I sing a love song to You Lord

Every day every night 

I tell of Your goodness and mercy

Tell the world how You rescued me

Picked me up from sin and shame

Your breathe gives me new life

I sing a love song to You Lord

Every day every night 

I tell of Your goodness and mercy

Tell the world how You rescued me

Picked me up from sin and shame

Your breathe gives me new life

Where can I go without Your presence

Under Your wings I take refuge

Your spirit lives within my heart

I know you'll never be apart

Everyday I draw closer to You Lord

I long to see Your face

And hide in Your embrace

All my life dwelling in Your Holy place

My heart O Lord You've changed

I'll never be the same 

I'll never be the same

LOVE this song too much! Just now was playing this song in the car. Lord, let me hide in Your embrace everyday, dwelling in Your presence everyday. I love u Lord!

Message for today!

• INFORMATION
• REVELATION
• IMPARTATION
• TRANSFORMATION

It is a wonderful message shared by Pastor Jeremiah. Information doesn't make change, but changes take place when information become revelation. And from here, SPARK OF FAITH COME FORTH. In real life, God take ONE MOMENT to do all, and that particular one moment ca change life for good!

This is somehow the prayer for me in the year 2010, which I do hoped I can stepped into the new year by FAITH. and here the message speak. I believe only God's love did all. It is because God's love is the foundation of faith to receive Heaven upon the earth. And with His love, I encountered a lot and experience Him a lot. I realized, I could't live without Him.

With the storm I am facing now, I still wanna to proclaim, JESUS is my Lord. Over the storm, He is my shield. Yea, I would like to sing this song:

God is so good

God is so good

God is so good, is so good,

TO ME! TO JENNY! TO US!

Ya, therefore, abide in Him is what I desire for. I put all my desire onto u!!

I realised my stupidness!

I will follow YOU

Today my sis shared her spending of Thaipusam holiday in Port Dickson yesterday. I was so shocked but getting more disappointed with the man. Realize, I was so stupid and so naive last time.! From her conversation, I realised, he changed a lot. He is no more the one I know before anymore.

WHY I WILL FALLING IN LOVE in such guy?

this is the question I keep questioning.

I am wonder, how far and how long he can stand with such situation?

How he is going to bear the whole family with such attitude?

For how long he is going to sustain with such situation?

I'm not commenting about him, but I was really regret.
And I understand better now for the meaning of  "outsider always look clearer than the insider".
He seems tired everyday now. And lose the SHINNY looking last time.
well, I just pray that he realised all these and really sit down and planning for the next.

Well, I know, I'm having a good decision then.
I have my dream to chase, I can't stay in such frustrated which keep make me worry anymore.
All I need to do now is, get myself back on track and help the rest!
And I will know, I had my decision rightly.

me and woody!

I love this toy when I get to watch toystory.
Personally felt this movie is good. It had come to the Toystory 3,
but the content is still very touching.


After years, although Woody had grown up,
the director still can make the story very interesting,
by making a storyline where the owner had left all the toys and went to university.
But he still very like all the toys which had been accompany him since he is still a kid.


Most of the time, I felt I am like the main character in it.
I love to keep all my things,
when years pass by, u will see kindergarden books still in some corner of my house.
haha. cause I will keep some.


I have done my spm 5 years ago, but all SPM books are still with me.
Even my sis, who done her SPM last year,
had cleared all her book off.
BUT, u will find mine still there.


May be I am those type of people who like to think the past.
Therefore, if wanna put down something I like, I love, I been through with,
I would said,
"IT'S DEFINITELY HARD FOR ME"


2010 I had been through alot of hard ship in my life.
most of the time, I faced it just myself.
I dun find people when I really faced it.
I started to build wall inside, wall and wall,
wall and wall again.
IT'S SUFFERING.


I know it is not healthy, and I hoped I would I can get out from the situation soon!
I felt I am blessed that I had come to know a group of frens,
they are with me when I am sad,
their supports are with me when I am discourage,
their advice with me when I need some ears!
THEY ARE SO GREAT!
Meeting them as my friend is somehow a blessing of my life.
I had been locked up myself for the last 3 years until i realize I dun have new fren in my circle.
Well, I would said THANKS to every one that participate in my life deeply.


U ALL ARE SO WONDERFUL TO ME!
I love u all, guys and gals.
Also, the spiritual support from certain church friends, cell members,
are always my support!
I will continue my life by living out the best one to glorify God.


Here I go with my prayer,
JESUS, thanks for loving me so much,
thanks for dying on the cross just solely for my life.
THANKS for redeem my sins.


I give u my heart! my whole heart.
I am facing somehow many great frustrating and worries in my life,
which making me so stress.
I might been looking very cheer for people around me,
but I know, deep inside my heart,
ALL I NEED IS YOU IN MY LIFE!!


I can be hehe haha in front of people,
I can be saying "ALRIGHT, I am ALRIGHT" in front of friends,
Besides alright, it might be "NOTHING", "I AM OKAY".
I don't want all these fake expression.
I just want to be truely with YOU in Your presence.


Lord, thefore, draw me closer and closer to You.
I NEED U, I NEED U!


Let me:
FORGETTING THE PAST,
STRAINING FORWARD WHAT IS AHEAD.




In Jesus' name I prayed, Amen!

祢的爱

祢创造宇宙万物，统管一切所有 
但祢却关心我的需要，了解我的感受 
祢手铺陈天上云彩，打造永恒国度 
但这双手却甘心为我，忍受彻骨钉伤苦痛 
祢公义审判万民，圣洁光照全地 
但祢却一再赐恩典，一再施怜悯 
给我机会回转向祢 

祢的爱如此温柔，超乎我心所想 
这样大有能力的主，竟捧我在手掌心上 
祢的爱如此深切，我知我无以报答 
但愿倒空我的生命，学习祢谦卑的样式 
背起我自己的十字架 

怎么办？

人生，总有许多事情需要正面去面对。不管你在那个年龄层，都有一定的事情需要你去面对。最近，我喜欢了一个我觉得自己不该喜欢的人。但问问自己，好像是踩进了一个很深的水潭里。我很享受那种过程，那当然我还会控制自己。只怕往后的日子走下去时，会更加辛苦。知道更要做的，就是从这样的光景中踏出来。

我不知道该怎么办是好。身边的非基督徒朋友都鼓励我应该放下宗教的成见，去接受、考虑，不然就会苏州过后就没艇搭了！啊，不知怎么办！但一向对爱情非常执著的我，不想因为一时的冲动而误了自己所期待的爱情观念，又或是进到教堂那种轰轰烈烈的婚礼。这是我一生梦寐以求的但但但，实在是太多的但是了！

我不知道该怎么办是好。但能够怎么办？只好走一步看一步咯！神哪，求你帮助我！

17 January to Damansara

Yesterday I meet up with my ex-classmates. So glad to see them back. Was been separated from them for quite a long time. When meet them up, every is chasing me for present's money, haha. Well, have a nice fellowship with them.

We talk about our past one year, and how we gonna face the front! it was a wonderful conversation between every one of us. Although the group is just less people, I personally think that it really a huge change in each of us. May be from the various background we are attended to. But I was so grateful that they still treat me as friend, I have been absent from the group for quite a few time due to many reasons. Finally I meet them.

We spend our great time in Ice Room, Kota damansara. And I was really happy for the very short gathering. Tis is friendship, no matter how long how far we are, we still there to gather, to talk together. Yeahhhh.

After the day, to skip the jam, I met Yi Wei up, knowing more stories from him, especially when he is talking abt church, about career. Felt this guy is interesting. Well, i just pray that he will find a suit job sooner. And also to my SEGi group, all the best for the another year of Degree! U all are my best friend forever! love u!

PLEASE

I just read my Sister Joyce Au's blog, totally agreed on what she is saying. I'm very disappointed for some saying from the group of people. But still I need to say, everyone had their limit of listening. please watch ur tongue when u are talking something.

Anyway, I am still wanna said there are still a great group in our circle. Willing to share, talk, chit chat, I loved them so much. Like Wnedy, just had a good conversation with her last Sunday. haha. she is also facing struggling like me de wohhhh. and she's so cute, but I enjoyed spend time together with her, and pray with her.

There are many temptations outside making us to drop in. But remember, God is our victory inside. Pray and seek His name everyday is our prayer! I love u God, but somehow people around making me hard to breathe sometimes. But I m still, make u my king of kings, my lord of lords! I love u God!

Malacca

every body seem questioning where I have been last two days. And I told them I went Malacca. their response is somehow very curious, making me dun have the peace inside me! haizzz.

Was really tired now, but still, I am here to record the journey.
Friday 5.20pm, I meet ah gor at Raja Chulan monorail station, and from there we started our journey. He dropped me in Endah Parade where the place I have not been for a long time, because he needs to get home and get bath. After that, we went Cheras to get maggie jie. Due to the terrible jam in Cheras, I have my Pan Mee while waiting ah jie. Nice. And I have chat with Celia, my good friend on the phone as she is finish her last paper on Friday on her Degree. Congratulation Celia.

We depart from Cheras to Malacca on 830pm and arrived at around 10.30pm in Jonker street! We walk through Jonker street and I have my EGG ice cream. hehe. Passion fruit + dragon fruit! Then we waited for Yi Wei, and he fetch us go for supper in a Mamak. We ate sotong, si hum, asam pedas fish there. huh. Both william and Yi wei making me to shut my mouth. They have tried their best to cheer me up, but Im shocked that I still can remain not talking. haha. After the meal, I cough badly =(

We reached Yi Wei;s house abt mid9. He is good and he had let his 2 rooms for us! We chit chat with Mrs Kua, his mom until around 3am in the morning. huh, crazy. After that, we have our rest in dreams>>>>>

2nd day morning, we went market to buy some otak otak for da jie and moon. Therefore, we need to wake up by 630am. everybody is awakening by me, wahaha. After buying, we went to find sum yee at her mom chicken rice ball stall, and have birthday there. Here we go with sum yee for out activities. oops, I forgot, there are a fren of Yi wei called Hui Ling.

We went to visit some historical building such as A famosa, christ church, shops, trains and so on. Have a good time together with them during the walk. After that went for Nyoya food! nice food with bill RM87.20. Sum Yee was suggesting to have pool on that time, and we went! this is the 1st time I touched that! haha. but at least I try for the very first time edi. hehe..

The day continue with we went to Krabang for Coconut shake. Nice drinks but so bad, rain. but still very nice to have that cold drinks in such whether! Then we went house for bath and continue our dinner. Unfortunately, we naik kapal. haha. we ate for Rm284 for 8 people. ohNo.!!!!!

Well. after the dinner we went Jonker street again to get the pineapple biscuit! Then we depart back KL by 10 something. Maggie was slept in the car and me accompany william to talk. He talk a lot, I talk a lot, maggie sleep a lot. haha. At the end, william also very tired, and I drove his car back Puchong.

this is the trip of Malacca. Althought it is abit rushing, we enjoyed ev moment spend together. William did asked me, how long we can sustain like this? I answered, it is depends how much u want to commit in this relationship. I knew, each of us, are appreciating every moment spent now, we are longing to deeper relationship. well, I just pray that our friendship is never ending and it is forever and ever lasting! love u guys and gals!

新的环境

SJK (C) Chee Wen, Subang

今年，我在一个很不愿意的情况里，必须去到一个新的环境里工作。但感恩，一个星期过去了，觉得神真的非常奇妙。他会兴起不同的环境来塑造我们，纵使会有流泪的过程，但都是叫爱他的人的益处。而我就是其中一位他所爱的人。

如今，我在首邦市子文学校工作。那儿的环境及水准比之前的学校还要来得强。我相信，神又再次把握提升到另一个里程碑里。所以，我要更努力地成为光，成为盐，做上帝的见证人。

It's not a ministry, but it's a calling to pastoral

这是昨天神透过他的话语及人的印证告诉我的话。我实在希望我不会后悔走向这条路。当我正在寻求如何告诉其他人时，我非常彷徨，但神却在当中为我开路，连我觉得最难过的那一关，都过了。

这选择可能会震撼很多人，也可能会使人在背后评语，但不管怎样，我都要去面对，并且靠着神，而并不因为保护自己，我真的盼望我自己不会以理由去维护自己的名声，而是真的叫神的名的荣耀，神哪，求你保守我！

心中虽有许多的不舍得，许多不能用字来形容的心声，但知道神还是继续在我的生命中掌权。我不知道我下一步会去到哪里，但只盼望在往下的日子走下去时，我能够更加坚强、更加依靠主！这就是我的祷告

Year of God's favour & fruitfulness



chinese version




english version