CNy 3rd day

This noon was a rainy day for me! I CRIED!

After I had my lunch, I washed the dishes of whole family. After that, I took out a can of Pepsi from the refrigerator and sat down again to chit chat with cousins and uncle auntie and also my parents.

During the conversation, mom was actually complained me that I didn't support her in the family financial. She said each month I will tell her the SAME thing that I dun have much money to give. It was in truth that I don't have any income in this coming 4 months due to the post I am having. Meanwhile, I still need to pay all course fees, installment of myself. I take out money from bank and never get a cent from her for that! In a ZERO income, I still take out money for her for CNY. But I couln't understand a single WHY do she say so? WHY she compare? WHY she can't understand? WHY she make such statements?

She said even in this 2 years, I was already like that. Then if I want to pursue my Master, how long do she need to wait? I told her very serious, Degree is very usual now, and everybody have it. She don't get me, she don't know what I want? She never asked me what I want? everything need to go according what she want? Don't she can know? Don't she know about my financial situation?

I do give her a little but not much every month. But she never get satisfy and even thank u with that! I don;t mind with the thanks, but at least please understand me! She express her dissatisfy to my cousins, uncle aunties, they did explained to her. Even the outsiders can understand me better. But she still that STUBBORN STUBBORN! I tahan my tears and went in to toilet and I know she realised but she didn't say anything.

After that, I leave the crowd and went into the room. I have a thousand of WHY in my mind that is unanswerable. I don't know, I don't know who I shall talk to! SHE HURTS ME! I am in dilemma, emotional now!